I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
