Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I am midnight drunk by noon
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
