I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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