Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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