All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
