He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
