I want to make a zoo with you.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
