Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
