At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Randomize
