No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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