So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
