I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
