But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
