he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
