p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Randomize
