We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Randomize
