i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
