I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
