Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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