They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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