I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
