1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
