I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
