She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
