I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
