someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize