Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
