hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
