Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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