Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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