no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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