Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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