So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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