So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize