Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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