Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
