Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
