I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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