I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
