I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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