so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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