I hope mine doesn't look like that
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
