When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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