can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
