The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
