He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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