then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she pinky promised me she was 18
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
