She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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