My first STD was from a foam party
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
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