So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize