Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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