the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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