i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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