Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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