So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
