My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
