Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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