Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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