who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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