They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize