I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
