I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
