Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
