He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
