I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
