i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
