girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
