at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
