OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
